Britney Smokes Cigarettes

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Britney Spears likes a good cancer stick when she can manage to light them. I apologize if this AOL video loads as slow for you as it does for me.

People used to make a big deal about female pop stars setting a bad example for their fans by smoking. These days it's hard to think of one who isn't smoking and drinking and doing various other questionable activities.

USA Network's Burn Notice Is Awesome

If anybody really does have a time travel device, it is probably in the hands of the CIA by now. Whaa???

USA Network's Burn Notice features Michael Weston, a CIA Operative, who gets fired. Except when you are out of the CIA it's more than just a dismissal. He is going to be faced with the difficult task of getting back in the Spy Game without all the technology and resources that he had come to rely on at the agency. Add to that the fact that the CIA is putting those same resources into an effort to keep him down, even if that means killing him.

I think one of the most effective spy tools is an uprooted bush. You can hide behind it and move toward your objective, stopping only when you suspect that you are being watched. In the unlikely event that the person under surveillance sees through your ingenious bush device, you need to have a backup. I recommend that you wear a standard issue combination dark rimmed glasses/big nose/mustache device. That way, even if they approach you, you can effectively conceal your identity.

I would assume that someone who has been given a burn notice might have a hard time getting access to a bullet proof vest. One US soldier got his 15 minutes of fame when his iPod stopped a bullet. You could get one of those fishing vests with all the pockets and fill them with every small brand name electronic device that you can find. Ducking behind a car is another great defnse against gunfire. For best results, use someone else's car.

If you haven't figured it out yet, I am not a very good spy. You should get a sneak peek at Burn Notice to see how a real out of work expert does it,

There's a New Kid in Town

It's not enough that Shakira was going around the World actually singing at concerts and selling lots of records and topping the charts. Now she is moving into territory that Britney Spears thought she had the top spot in...partying in LA.

Somebody writing for TMZ even compared the fashion choices of the two pop stars. To make things even worse, she is being all functional. Something tells me that Shakira probably has her manager do a bit a research to help minimize the chance of bumping into Britney.

Get PictaVision for Your Phone

The Pictavision application for mobile phones helps you do just about anything you could ever want to do with your pictures and videos. PV for mobile phones - grab it now! This is so easy to use.

Pictavision is a simple way to take your videos and images from a camera phone and upload them to the online photo sharing site of your choice, including Kodak, Webshots, dotPhoto and many other photo sharing websites.

Paparazzi Ask Britney to Give Them a Break

***This is Satire***

I'm not sure how Google works with these Satire labels on the news items. I would like to be important enough to get on Google News with my silly take on what is going on. If they give me one of those Satire labels, I promise that I will always use Satire.

The real story is that Britney drove across town to where she knew the Paparazzi were staked out trying to get pictures of Mandy Moore.

Live and Learn

Not too many years ago, I had the opinion that I had learned all that I needed to know about math. I could do everything that I needed to do in my life and work with the knowledge and skills that I received in schools and also through experience.

I have recently had a big wake up call, and it is coming from my kids. I have two that are 13 and one that is 15. Sometimes they ask me for help with their math homework and I simply don't understand it. The 15 year old has a math tutor and she has difficulty with the way math is being taught in the schools today. The Math Tutors at SCORE Learning Centers have programs for kids aged 4 to 14 that reflect the way math is being taught now. They can help your kids get good grades. I was researching some education issues online and I found some fraught meeting minutes involving parents that were really upset about how their kids were being taught math at school. SCORE was actually mentioned in the text because many of the concerned parents were sending their kids to SCORE because they felt that the public school curriculum was inadequate.

Britney Is Faking Her Dysfunctionality

Britney Is Faking Her Dysfunctionality. This just dawned on me as I was preparing to make fun of her. You see, I haven't been able to effectively make fun of her for months because her mental state is SO TRAGIC. Most human beings that have even a shred of decency are in the same boat.

We are playing right into her hands. She is shutting down the funny with her transparent denial and her opaque panties. Luckily for me, I have finally seen through her translucent scheme. Pretend to be tragic all you want Britney, I am still going to make fun of you, unless you find Jesus. I would have to stop then.

ItsaBullsEye.com: Cheap Checks

ItsaBullsEye.com is a source for cheap checks for personal or business use. You can save a lot of money on 3-per-page layout checks, side-stubbed desk sets, and computer checks designed to be compatible with many popular accounting programs.

I wonder how big your business should be before it makes sense to print checks out on the computer? I can get by with filling mine out by hand. It would be cool to have a custom design. ItsaBullsEye.com has lots to choose from when it comes to check designs. You can get licensed graphics ranging from Sesame Street to Harley Davidson. I can imagine it would be appropriate to pay bills with Oscar the Grouch checks.

Kevin Federline And Britney Spears Could Get Back Together

Personally, I think the tabloids and gossip sites are desperate because they can't get more than a day or two of stories out of the occasional inadvertent exposure of a body part or two. For a few days I thought that she was finally doing what I have said she needs to do over and over again, leave LA, and stay away from Vegas.

But the top Britney gossip today is her supposed intimation of a reunion with her ex-husband. Yeah, right.

Deals on Dells from CouponChief

I really like the way the Coupon Chief website works. They feature a lot of the best retailers out there and there are incredible deals to be had. Check out the dell coupons. I have trusted Dell as a supplier of computers for several years.

Other retailers featured on Coupon Chief include Home Depot and Shoe Mall.

Dell is my favorite source of coupons, there are always great deals to be had on computers. I'm not a gamer or anything, so I don't feel like I need the ultimate latest computer, just something that works well. That generally means getting a great deal on a basic model from Dell.

Ex Friend Paris Hilton: Britney's Take on Things

Actually, Britney isn't saying anything about Paris Hilton, good or bad, as far as I know. I have noticed a lot of ex friends of Paris choose to not say anything at all. It has me wondering if Paris makes a point of having the kind of shared experiences that no celebrity wants to talk about.

Jamie Lee Curtis has publicly blamed the mothers of Paris, Britney and Lindsay Lohan for their troubles. I don't entirely disagree.

Night Vision

Night vision goggles can be used to look at nocturnal animals and people that have their clothes on. In fact, night vision is a technology that owes most of its development to the Army. But just like Hummers and automatic weapons, regular citizens are eager to reap the benefits of military technology.

OpticsPlanet carries night vision equipment manufactured by ATN, Yukon, Bushnell, Trijicon, Weaver, Aimshot, Insight Technology, and ITT. ITT has contracts with the US Army. Optics Planet ships via UPS and you don't pay shipping with orders over $29.95 that are destined to Military APO/FPO addresses. Night vision capabilities can make you feel more secure when walking in dark areas.

Diane Sawyer is to Blame

I think television interviewer Diane Sawyer is the person that irrevocably BROKE Britney Spears way back in 2003. After her direct questions cracked the veneer that so many people knew and loved as the real fake Britney Spears it was all ineffective damage control after that. Kevin Federline is a symptom, not a disease.

This Zit Popping Game is just WRONG

Put this game on your blog   Create your own   More games

These days, doctors advise that popping a pimple is not an effective solution or treatment for the problem of pimples. Squezzing them can actually cause more to grow back later.

Oh, yeah and it's also really gross. If you suffer from severe acne, you should be aware that there are now effective drugs that are taken internally. Girls who are at risk of becoming pregnant should not take these as there is a risk of birth defects. Usually birth control is prescribed in conjunction with the acne treatment.