Britney Buys Bushels of Undies

It all makes sense now. The repeated publication of Britney's pubic area was starting to make me question her virtue. It turns out that she had simply run out of undies. This doesn't quite explain why she has been out on the town nearly every night. You can buy underwear online. Maybe Britney avoids the internet because she's afraid she will find out that the reason she ran out of panties is because Kevin accidentally packed them when he was leaving and that he is trying to sell them on eBay. Pictured below is the big white dot that Perez likes to put over Britney's stuff:





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Britney Spears
Kevin Federline

Britney Spears to Sell House

Real Estate is HOT in Southern California. The $6.9 million house that Britney bought back in 2004 is reportedly going to list for $13.5 million. It is being said that the deal will liquidate about $5 million to be split up according to the prenup agreement rumored to be 80% for Britney and 20% for Kevin. The phrase 'time is money' is no doubt being said repeatedly in Brit's presence. During the two years these lovebirds lived in the house, it has been appreciating at about 8,000 a day. That is crazy. So if the house is still going up in value at that rate, it's like every day it isn't sold Britney has to give Kevin another $1,600. That is crazy sounding to me, but Kevin's lifestyle and budding career eat up way more bread than that.

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Britney Spears
Kevin Federline

The Britney Sex Tape Story Without Numbers

I will not put any dollar values in this post because of crazy variation in the media today. Here's the story... Britney Spears is worth a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY. Kevin Federline is worth NUTTIN'. Now that they have split up, Kevin wants a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY from Britney. Before they got married, Britney got Kevin to sign a pre-nup that means Kevin will get SOME MONEY but not a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY.

Kevin is a big fat doo-doo head. He is reportedly saying that he will sell a home made sex tape starring Britney Spears and featuring Kevin Federline as a dumb ass with a penis for a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY, unless she pays him a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY.

I think that threatening to put hardcore footage of your babies' momma on the net is not a good way of looking out for the welfare of your children.

Britney Spears
Kevin Federline

Watch Kevin Federline Recieving His Notice

Kevin Federline was in Canada getting the star treatment from that nation's music station when he got a text message and read it on camera. He was visibly upset and it has been speculated that it was the moment that he was informed that Britney was filing for divorce.

Britney Spears
Kevin Federline

Britney Spears to Divorce Kevin Federline

I feel sorry for these people, especially the children. But you have to remember that Britney makes a WHOLE LOTTA MONEY, so nobody is likely to experience much material hardship. And the lawyers, they will be able to feed their families through the winter. Everything is going to be OK.

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Britney Spears

Kevin Federline